(no subject)

elishacat

May 20th, 2004

Current Mood:

depressed

[pounds head] I am sooooo stupid. Why do I do this to myself?

But sex is fun!

But is it worth it?

Hard to say no in the middle of it. I hate my life sometimes but it's fun when I don't.

But see, except maybe for J, nobody knows I'm like this. They call me pretty and all that and I don't believe them even though I should. I know I look good... real good... and I dress nice or cute or sexy to match, but do I feel like I deserve it?

I'm a freak. Other girls are half cat or have wings or whatever but I'm such a... product. Mom didn't want me because she liked kids. She wanted the perfect offspring. Well, she got it.

Last time I felt this way I cut my hair and dyed it blue and dressed like a goth all the time. Now I just want to curl in a ball and cry.