Ack! (OOC message from Elisha's player)

elishacat

January 16th, 2007

I just began to realize that I might have freaked out at least a couple of you by the tone of my past couple of posts.  I just wanted to take an Out of Character moment to reassure you that those posts are intended to be entirely IN CHARACTER, as is the rest of this livejournal, and while I may indeed play Elisha fairly close to -me- as far as general mannerisms and personalities and whatnot, there's a lot that poor Elishakitty has gone through that *I* haven't, and she's at a developmental stage in her life where she needs to get a lot of her past out in the open so she can deal with it and finally move on.  That's what this is.  That's all.  If this was in any way intended to reflect on what's happening to the human girly at all, I'd have said so...

...hence why I threw together the PAWS FOR STATION IDENTIFICATION icon.  If you see that, it means the post is out of character, and actually to do with ME, not the character of Elisha Paklena-Montpardien. And while in venues such as Second Life the Elisha I portray generally tends to be more out-of-character than the Elisha I play on Tapestries, what she experiences there I mostly plan to lump together with her other in-character experiences and less of what I'm doing myself.

Not to mean that the emotions and friendships aren't real.  It's just how I need to divide the two, me and her.

Love and kisses and purrs,
A 

Tags: ooc

(no subject)

elishacat

January 12th, 2007

I was not a kitten born of love between my mother and daddy. I wasn't even born out of hate, an act of savagry. I was created out of utility and experimentation. Go read Brave New World. I was a product, an artifice, crafted by my mother out of her cells and the seed of my dad. That's all.

It's taken me twenty years to come to terms with that; most of that reckoning has been in the last five.

Do you know hard that is to realize?

Do you know how much knowing you weren't loved for who you are, you were just loved for the ideal you represent, fucks you up?

Nineteen Things

elishacat

January 11th, 2007

Current Mood:

content

This was technically originalyl supposed to be a 20 Things meme, but the last one of it was one of the 'pick x people to tag and pass it along lest evil fate and ill winds befall you' sort, which is lame, so I'm skipping over that one.

1. How often do you blog? Not as much as I generally try to; ideally I'd do it every day but I've been lax lately.

2. Online Alias: elishakitty, or elishacat, depending on what's free.

3. Have you ever stood up for someone you hardly knew? Occationally, based on the vouching of mutual acquaintances.

4. What do you do most often when you are bored?  I sit and watch the bay.  Or I go sailing, usually in Lady J because she's easier to launch.  If the weather doesn't permit it then I'll read, or catnap.  Or I'l lwander looking for conversation.  Usually I do all of that in some permutation.

5. When bathing, which do you wash first?  My paws, then my arms, then everything else, then my hair last. 

6. Have you ever been awake for 48 hours straight? A couple of times.

7. What color looks best on you? Well, I tend to wear a lot of purple, but I get asked to wear reds and greens... and I look classy in white (I'm a fluffy white princess kitty in the dress in my icon! =^_^=) ... the advantage of being a black furred kitty is I go with everything.  My eyes are green, though, which is maybe why green looks good on me... when my hair isn't highlighted purple.

8. What’s your favorite alcoholic drink?  Mudslides!  Followed by irish coffee, and then wine.

9. Do you believe in heaven and hell as a real place that each of us will go to after death? Not a tangible real place, and not necessarily as a destination but as a... conveyance to the next cycle.

10. Do you find that you have more online friends than offline friends?  They're blurred for me, distinctionwise.

11. What was your favorite subject in school? Probably theater.  All cats are a little bit of the drama queen.  I just don't let mine manifest that much.

12. Are you a perfectionist? Only when it comes to things I create; I'm pretty laid back otherwise.

13. Do you spend more than you can afford? Oh hell yes.

14. Is it better to have loved and lost than never to have loved before? I'd rather love.  I can't tolerate the loss.

15. Do you consider yourself creative? Creative enough.

16. Do you give yourself the credit you deserve? That's a biased question.  Others will say I don't.  I think I give myself too much credit.

17. Do you donate time or money to charities? Only occationally.

18. Have you recently done something that you’ve criticized others for doing? Yes, but I'm not going to discuss it.

19. What’s on your mind right now? Mark, at the moment, and Caydin.  Also dinner. 

So what was that all about?

elishacat

January 11th, 2007

One thing I keep wishing I actually got around to doing is blogging more about me and my experiences.  Not necessarily just what I'm doing, you know, or thinking about like I usually do, but about me.  I don't really know why.  Maybe because it's hard for some reason for me to discuss it openly with people... it was gutwrenching to do it with Aiko, and I could only go so far with Caydin before I wound up changing the topic on myself... but both times I really, really wanted... full disclosure, I guess.

Maybe if I do it here, it'll be easier.  I don't know.  I don't know what I intend to get out of it either, save for maybe catharsis.